The seasons are in the midst of change. Our mild winter is slowly changing, growing and passing into Spring. Today was warm and overcast, here in the mountains where I live. The wind was blowing warm and dusty, with the occasional chill, a surprise. Most are hoping for the warmth of Spring, but fearing a random snow in late March, worrying that Winter will not go silently into the night, as it's presence this past year was almost unnoticeable in our area. Very unlike the last two years.
It is easy to get side tracked in the midst of change. You look forward, you look back. You worry about the future, while dwelling on the past. You miss the growing, the transition, the hard stuff, the good stuff, the real stuff that is in between seasons, the thing that is happening right now.
I am guilty of this and at my worst state I could be almost as bad as a TV Weather reporter. Talking about the storms of years past, poorly predicting the future, and not living in the moment, all the while standing in front of some crazy green screen waving my arm around until I find the right place to point at on the dang thing!
I have been reminded of that today, as I walked around outside, I realized I was yearning for the warmth of Spring and Summer and hoping for the cold days to sputter out into oblivion. Not just in the weather, but in myself. There are some things I am tired of in me and I'm ready for the next phase, the phase of my life where those things are no longer struggles.
The truth is, I'm not there yet.
And that is ok.
Until then, I will seek to hold sacred the present.
My unfinished and rough edged pieces of art all around my studio stand in contrast to some already finished and hanging, waiting for their next gig.
I am not everywhere I want to be, but I am going. I am also not where I was, but I have gone.
Thankfully, I am here now. And that is the most important verb.
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