I realize that I am in a very transitional place right now (which perhaps we always are) but balancing a day/night job and trying to stay focused on the artistic goals I have and personal goals and trying to nurture also my personal and family relationships is proving to be quite a challenge. I am not able to do it all and be healthy and remember to sleep too! Currently, I am looking to edit out at least 15% of what I am doing now. What is that 15%, though? How is a 100% of my time being spent?
We have only 168 hours in a week and I fear I am seeking to do too much, because a lot of the things I want to do are simply not getting done at all! I am working around 45 hours a week on the clock... that does not include the time it takes me to drive to and from work and get ready for work before I leave. I am not really sure where the rest of the time goes, though! I try to sleep sometimes and I try to work out and I try to work on my art projects and I try to nurture relationships, but I feel that I am simply not disciplined enough and accountable enough to myself outside of my work hours.
Those things that are most important to me are really getting pushed to the side and slip away into disorganization and confusion and lack of clarity. I should have at least 45 hours of discretionary time left over after work obligations and sleep... but where is it all going? To half-way hap-hazard efforts?
I am going to have to get it together... this is part of my problem... I ask the question, can artists ever really get their life together and still nurture their art? Or is it a choice? Does life working mean art atrophies? Or does art being made mean life is neglected?
I suppose I am operating on the belief here that I can in some way figure out a balance on this wire, to continuously move forward so as not to fall and to create a magnificent feat of achievement at the same time. I suppose to move forward I must believe that some sort of balance is attainable, perhaps necessary to life.
On I must go, and must figure out how to edit out, say no and stay focused. Hmmm... I'll let you know how it goes ; )
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