Do I disappoint you?
The truth is, the creative life is fraught with fear of disappointment.
I fear I will disappoint folks all of the time. I fear I will disappoint people who I have signed contracts with, people I am working on commissions for, people in my classes.
I truly NEVER want to disappoint anyone, EVER!
But, the reality is, each time you step into a new space, a new project, a new venture that fear that you may disappoint someone begins to creep on in.
Fear, disappointment and expectation are all tightly knit together.
What do I expect of myself?
What do I believe others expect of me?
Am I truly capable of following through?
Will I make a mistake?
What if it's not good enough?
What if I'm not good enough?
This disappointment stuff can get real.
Occasionally, we do receive a rejection. Sometimes we do make a mistake. Sometimes people share their disappointment with us. Sometimes we double book and have to back out. Sometimes we feel like flakes and failures. It's true. Some of this stuff ain't pretty.
As it is the beginning of the year, many of us are focusing on what we hope to achieve and create for the new year. I applaud each of us for that, congratulations on new adventures!
It is also wise to prepare yourself for what you may do if a kink gets put into any of those plans. It's smart to prepare your mind for the possibility that things sometimes wont go smoothly, what then?
Decide in advance to stay the course.
Truth be told, all we are actually capable of is "our best" in each moment. As Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book 'The Four Agreements', our best will change based on our health, how much we have committed to, how much time we have, etc.
Our "absolute best" isn't always possible. Sure, under the best of circumstances, we have a lot of awesome creative work to give! But as life goes, we aren't always operating under "the best of circumstances". Sometimes we are dealing with a whole awful lot! But we can commit, shift, reconfigure, recommit again, adjust, readjust and make what we can give work in the real world.
The fear of disappointment is only as real as you and I make it. It's only as powerful as we allow it to be.
It's possible I have been a disappointment to some. It's possible that the fear of disappointing others has kept me from being honest, from readjusting things in a healthy way, from creating what I truly am called to create.
It's possible I can recommit to moving through this fear of disappointing others and get back to the beauty of creating what it is I truly can create in this world during this one precious, fragile, imperfect, and glorious life I've got!
What about you?
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Art Nurture is about being fully alive and living life with the soul of an artist. A life filled with passion, intention, and purpose.
Thanks so much for your time and your presence.
Cultivate & Nurture,
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"Court has a knack for supporting others in tuning into the artist within..."
"If preparing to work with Court you should know that you will be challenged to be your best self and you will be given tools for how to do so.
You may also find yourself realizing dreams and vocations that may have been easier in the short term to keep hidden, but overall will allow you to embrace this creative part of yourself and live more fully." -Faith Josephs