Marathon Anxiety

This week, I started to realize that the marathon I signed up for is coming up pretty rapidly. 

Yes, I have been training regularly and it is not as though I have not been thinking about it at all, but the truth is, as of today, it is only 45 days away. 

Yesterday evening I decided to take a look at the course map. Last year, I did the half marathon of this same event that I plan on doing the full version of this year. The course map definitely shows the full marathon course for what it is... pretty long.

 I had a bit of anxiety at that moment, the thoughts of, "What was I thinking? Why am I doing this? Am I going to really be able to pull this thing off? 26.2 miles! That is just nuts!"


But then I watched this video. This is the start of last years race.

I remember how long it took for the large crowd of runners to even get to the start line to cross over into race time officially. How for my friend, Sarah, and I it was our first half marathon and we both kept laughing and saying stupid stuff like, "Are we sure we want to do this?" and "I can't believe we're doing this!" Along the race path there were stories written on runners t-shirts, charities being represented and supported and children holding up handmade signs to cheer on their mothers and fathers. It is really pretty inspirational and a bit more emotional than I had originally thought. A year later, I've run many more races, but it is always the first time you tackle a new distance that you have that same anxious feeling again.

In "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron she talks about unleashing your creativity by trying new things and taking on challenges you have longed to over take your whole life. Running a marathon has been one of those truly random goals I have had on my "Crazy-Stuff-I-Want-To-Do List" for as long as I can remember. I remember reading the section of the book that talked about the zen of sports and how it assists the creative process by allowing time for free association of ideas, along with the by-product of a healthy body. These things are all well and good and true. I still have a bit of the fear, though. Here is a great quote I found while scanning through my copy of the book,

"We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures... Take a risk a day-- one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it."
                                                                                                 -Susan Jeffers

So, maybe my fear will become my best friend on this journey. We will have 26.2 miles to get to know each other.