Gratitude: Even for lessons hard learned

Tis the season to focus on Gratitude.

Gratitude is something I try to practice regularly. 

But it is not always easy.

Gratitude is definitely something to cultivate. 

 Often times, though, it's easy to be grateful for some things 
and more challenging to be grateful for others. 

It's more challenging to be grateful for stuff when you are going through a really tough time. 

It's more challenging to be grateful when you don't know the answers or what to do next. 

It's more challenging to be grateful when someone you love is really sick. 

It's more challenging to be grateful when things aren't going your way at all.

It's more challenging to be grateful when you are having to work really hard for something and it looks like no fruit will come from all of your toil.

A story from my Art School days...

I am grateful to have had the joy of studying at a variety of places throughout my Art School days. I got to work with some really amazing artists who were my professors. I learned unique things from each of them that I carry with me each day in my art practice.

Some of those lessons were not always easy to learn.

One of my professors told me point blank once, "Court, you are not the most talented student I have. You're not even the most gifted in this class. But you are really creative and I can see that you want this, so you are going to have to work."

It was a hard thing to hear. It was a true thing to hear. I did want to be an artist so badly, with everything in me, I wanted to make visual art. I didn't want to do anything else! 

Blargh! How could I want to do something that I am not good at? 

I took the words to heart and put myself to work. I realized that I had so much to learn and I had to focus and really see differently, train my hands, train my eyes, learn techniques, and study.

It's hard to be grateful for a piece of truth that hits 
like a sack of potatoes.

So I became incredibly studious and focused on my artistic development. 
I did everything I could. I put in tons of hours...TONS.

Then, the end of the year rolled around. 

The art department awards were coming up.

I was nervous at the awards ceremony. I told myself it was fine if I didn't get anything, I had worked really hard, but it was fine. I was fine. I was going to be fine. I tried really hard to detach from the hope of receiving some recognition for all of my hard work. I didn't want to hope...

...but I really couldn't help myself from hoping quite a lot.

Each discipline had it's own award category. They rattled off the disciplines and the names of the recipients of each award. 

Drawing. Nope, nothing there.

Painting. Nope, nothing there either.

My hope dwindled.

Every discipline went by, some of my fellow students had even been recognized in multiple categories.

 I was recognized in none. 

I had worked harder that year than I ever had up to that point. I sat in my chair, trying to choke back my emotions. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to think of me as upset because other people had been honored and not me. That wasn't really what it was about. 

It was more about the fact that I had this dream and, now, sitting in a plastic chair at my department awards ceremony, I didn't quite know what to think of that dream any more. Maybe that dream was a curse. Maybe it was a fantasy. I just really didn't know.

I held onto my chair and sat still and unmoving. I stared at the speaker, trying to concentrate. He was saying something about another student. I guessed that there was another recipient. I ran through my mind...no, all of the departments had been mentioned, every single one of them. 
What other award could there be? 

It was my professor. He talked on and on about some student who was exemplary in their discipline. Yada, yada. Some student who had really gone the extra mile. Blah, blah, blah. I wanted this whole thing to be over so that I could head back to my room and consider dropping out of school. He then announced that the last award would now be given. 

It was an award from the entire department. This was the 'Ultimate Art Department Award'.

 I am certain that is not the official title of the award, but he was building it up so much he may as well have called it that....

...then the girl next to me is hitting my arm. 

People sitting around me turn towards me clapping and smiling. 

I had been lost in my own sad thoughts that I didn't even realize that they had called my name!

Yes, I had been sitting there feeling sorry for myself and I missed the fact that I had just won the Art Department Award.

Awesome.

Everyone was really happy for me. They told me they knew how hard I had worked and how they really felt like I deserved this acknowledgement. 

Talk about overwhelming humility.

The beauty is, had my professor not shared the tough words with me those many months before, I wouldn't have kicked it into high gear. I wouldn't have dug deep. I wouldn't have known to put the extra effort in and see what I was really made of...tough stuff.

I also think that this particular time in my life is what really led me to have a heart for teaching.

So I'm grateful for that for sure! I'm also grateful that I learned so much about process. I learned how much I could learn when I really tried. 

I could have taken the words my professor shared in another way. I could have shut down. I could have not been grateful for his honesty. I could have not been grateful for that tough year that I put a lot of work in. I could have been so ungrateful that I got up after the last department award had been announced and stormed out of there, only to miss what was actually going to happen. 

At the time all of this was a really tough series of lessons to feel grateful for, but over a decade has passed since then and I see how much these lessons have served me and will continue to serve me. I believe they also serve my community, when I get real honest and share them!

Now it's your turn.

Have you ever gone through something tough that you were able to find gratitude for later?

Please share in the comments below.

If you are loving this, please share it with those you believe would love it too.

Art Nurture is about being fully alive and living life with the soul of an artist. A life filled with passion, intention, and purpose. Thanks so much for your time and your presence.
 
Cultivate & Nurture, 
Court McCracken

p.s. If you want to receive Art Nurture goodness straight in your inbox, make sure to get your name on the list and receive a gift from me to you!