Some people use the phrase, "You've crossed the line" to comment on someone that has gone too far. They have crossed over into a certain level of unacceptable behavior socially or personally. If you are going to cross a line to finish a marathon, trust me, you know you have gone too far. You have trained for months and months to make sure you can push yourself to go "too far". Nothing feels better than being able to cross that line, especially when you were not sure you could get there. Some lines need to be crossed; those personal challenges that we need to bust through. For everyone, it may not be a marathon, but for me it was. I needed so desperately to cross that line. It was not graceful or pretty. I am by no stretch of the imagination an elite athlete, this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I will be honest to say, that my muscles (had they each individual voices) would be crying out in a loud chorus one song and one song only... entitled, "OUCH!" It is two days, post-race, and I am starting to heal up and gain some perspective. It would be an understatement to say that immediately after the race I was a little bit "out of it". Some people asked me that day if I would ever consider running the 26.2 race again. I believe at the time I asked to defer the question to a later date. I will answer it now to say, crazily, yes, I totally would do it again. The changes that happen within are the reason to do a marathon. A lot of my life I have struggled with fear. Fear in my art, my relationships, my abilities. Being brave doesn't have to do with never experiencing fear, but it has to do with facing the fear and calling it out for what it is, rubbish, then doing your awesome work anyways. Art and fear is a real thing. Most creative people struggle with that vulnerable feeling of what will happen if they work super hard on something and put it out there and people reject their work. Well, that might happen. But to cross the line, you have to keep going. I have mentioned many times how surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you as you nurture your art and thus yourself is integral to this process. More than anything I learned from this race about myself personally or pushing myself, I learned that my support system is vital to my survival. My friends and family are the team. They held me up, they encouraged me and they literally sustained me through this experience. To all of you, I thank you from every fiber of myself. Here are some photos and a short video that show the crucial support I received on that day. Thank you, thank you, thank you, to each and every person who gave encouraging words, prayers, bagels, good vibes, love, shirts, water, gatorade... runners near me who encouraged me to finish strong, thank you, thank you, thank you. You all amaze me with your love, strength, beauty, graciousness. This kind of kinship is what makes being a human and being alive so desperately beautiful. Carry it with you when you "cross the line".
4 Comments
Miley
3/22/2011 06:18:44 am
Hahahaha! that picture of your friends with the bagel sign is hilarious. just the look on the guy's face. "yep, here it is." I am sooo proud of you Courtney, I've run all my life and still have no desire to challenge myself to a marathon. you really are a natural athlete and an inspiring person! love ya. -me
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DAD
3/24/2011 09:52:02 am
What a fantastic experience! Right up there with the night you had a Hat Trick in Soccer with three consecutive mid-field GOALS while on the Orangewood Girls Soccer Team. What away to stimulate your friends and family in heading to the finish line and crossing to the other-side --- FINI!
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Your Armenian Sister
3/24/2011 01:31:49 pm
Courtney! Congratulations--IRD spread the good word of your accomplishment! So proud of you, hope to see you soooon!
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