I find myself being excited and then slightly fearful simultaneously at this transfer at work. I know that this is the best decision I can make for myself and that I am moving towards something that is a better fit for me; still I find myself having a bit of fear. Fear of the transition and the unknown. Fear of this plan failing me in some way.
Even though I have known for a while I wanted to move away from my current position there is some kind of safety in the known. I feel like this safety of the known keeps us in a false security and has held me back many times in my life. I have taken the comfortable for the unknown, even though the only thing really that gives me warning signs about the unknown is the lack of knowing itself! No other real warning signs to speak of like decrease in pay or more job insecurity or anything of that nature. Sometimes I guess we'd rather be stuck in our safe dark hole. Maybe the familiarity warms us, even though it is cold in there and not what we really want. I see this play out in my life and affect my ability to be myself and create. Even though I have a slight twinge of fear in the moving forward, I must. I cannot stay where I am; I have to build a bridge from the life I have to the life I want... a fuller realization of my dreams. If just transferring jobs at a place I already work will help me to do that, to loosen up and become unstuck, then I simply must recognize the fear for what it is, fear alone, then move forward into the unknown and fear it no longer! Pretty dramatic for a job transfer, eh?! I guess I needed to write that to remind myself of my decision and to tell that little twinge to take a back seat to the life that I have to live. I've let fear take to large a role in my decisions in the past and it has often times frozen me into indecision, which is the worst place to be of all! I heard a very successful business man speak recently about he and his wife's decision making process. He said regardless of the "size" or "importance" of the decision that he and his wife don't let it take any longer than two weeks to make, that indecision is one of the worst things in the world. I must say that really struck me to the core as I have realized that fear and indecision have played a huge role in the rut I got myself into prior to moving to North Carolina and I didn't even know it! I need to change some of my personal rules about decision making as well... maybe when it comes to certain behavior patterns or decisions I need to give myself two weeks notice!
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