So many times during my process of writing the Art Nurture book, I thought to myself, "Who am I to do this? Why will people care what I have to say?"
It seems funny to think, because truthfully, I am on a daily basis seeing evidence that folks want to hear from me about creativity. I've been writing about creativity and the creative process going on 5 years now. I'm filled with gratitude that my inbox is full of requests for more Art Nurture goodness. I talk about it, I research it, and I live it out. And yet... ...The moment I really got serious about writing Art Nurture: The Simple Guide to Cultivating Your Creativity, I was flooded with those anxious thoughts that flood any creative before they make a "thing". You got it, I'm not immune. I feel the same stuff every time I go to make a "thing". Because making a "thing" is a process. There are many hundreds of teeny tiny steps in that process. Many chances to bauble. Many chances to doubt. Many chances to mess up. Tons of broken places for vulnerability to shine. It's a total mess....and I love it for that, you see, because the creative process is a humbling one. It brings you face to face with your deepest desires and your deepest fears. It brings you face to face with the best version of yourself and with the most fearful version of yourself. It brings you face to face with those thoughts of, "If I do this and I fail, then everyone will know I'm a phony, that I was just faking this the whole time and making it all up." What then? Yep, you have a decision to make in that moment when you ask, "Who am I to do this or that?" You have a vital decision to make. It's how you answer that question. Sometimes we come to it on our own, but sometimes we need a helping hand or an encouraging word to remember the truth. The truth is, "Why the heck NOT you???" I mean seriously?! Why NOT you?! This is something I have faced many a time. If you have read Art Nurture: The Simple Guide to Cultivating Your Creativity, you know that on p. 96 of the paperback version, I quote Marianne Williamson, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson, from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles When we ask, "Who am I to.... ?" Many times we are facing the fear that we are more powerful than we know. And, no, that's not something we can always control. It also doesn't mean we get off the hook for hard work. When we ask, "Who am I to...?", just remember that playing small does not serve the world. Yep, the world needs your authentic art. The world needs you to live life with the soul of an artist. Go read my post, "The Top 17 Reasons Why the World Needs You to be an Artist"! Yep, your playing small just plain ole doesn't serve the world or yourself. When we ask, "Who am I to...?", remember that you were meant to shine. Remember that shining isn't just for some people. It isn't just for them and not for me. If you've read Art Nurture, you know that creativity isn't just for them and not for me. Nope, it's in each of us. When we let our light shine, make our "thing", do our dance, live it out...we are unconsciously giving permission to others for them to do the same. How cool of us?! When we are free in ourselves and liberated from our own fears of, "Who am I to....?" then we are allowing other people to be liberated from those same fears! In the creative process, you will most certainly be faced with this question. There is no way around it. But it get's easier once you know the answer to the pop quiz of fear that presents itself when you engage in this process. "Who am I NOT to do this thing?! My shrinking away from this challenge, this desire, this project just ain't helping anybody. The only choice is to engage fully and to do it." Not perfection, but presence. Not frozen fear-sicles, but action steps. Not shrinking, but shining. Because of so many beautiful members of the Art Nurture Community writing in and asking me, "How can I make my thing?" I am leading a small group in June called, "From Creative Dreams to Real Life Things" and it is all about creating a plan of inspired action to take those dreams to reality. Check it out here for more details. Make sure to jump on the Art Nurture e-mail list to receive up to date Art Nurture goodness directly to your inbox. Art Nurture is about being fully alive and living life with the soul of an artist. A life filled with passion, intention, and purpose. Thanks so much for your time and your presence. I wanna hear from you now! Let me know if the "Who am I to do this?" fear has come up for you? What did you do about it? When do you notice it coming up the most? Please share in the comments below! Cultivate & Nurture, Court McCracken
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Last week I shared with you some of my thoughts about Art Nurture, how it has grown, what it means to me, and what I am trying to do here.
I want to dive a little more into that and share with you my heart for adventures. If you know me at all, you know I am can be pretty fearful. The fears I face daily are a part of what makes me myself. We all have fears unique to us and our us-ness. For example, you can be both scared of heights and scared of talking to someone you have feelings for....two different kinds of fears that have an affect on the way your brain processes situations and the actions you choose to take or not take. Some folks might call me fearless, if you know me only on paper, I can see why I may come off that way. I have done things like run a marathon and I work with a wild horse. It might seem like I am brave or fearless....it just isn't so. The truth is, each day I face my fears and bump up against the walls of my finely tuned comfort zone. The majority of the time I am scared of tons-o-stuff. Not to mention the fact that there are many who constantly remind me of the dangers of my choices (i.e. being an artist is an uncertain career, you could get hurt, what if you don't cross the finish line). Yep. That stuff is for sure true. But there are other truths too. Sometimes it is good to know where our boundaries are and they can be there for some seriously good reasons. There are times you push those boundaries and face your fears in incremental moves. Just a little bit more, just a little change here, a small step there. It can be exhausting, but quite rewarding. Sometimes you take a leap, a dive, a big step out of that zone of comfort and familiarity. That can be both frightening and exhilarating at the same time. The other truths I talk about are the deep rewarding lessons that come from doing something new and pushing yourself to learn, challenging your discomfort, growing deeper & wider than you ever thought possible. Adventures are humbling. Adventures push you and stretch you and open you up. Opening up your scope of possibility in yourself and in the world....and then coming out on the other side with more understanding and new character traits you did not possess prior or had never nurtured in yourself before. I remember my first trip out of my own country. I had the privilege of being a part of a youth choir that was invited on tour in London. I was 14 and sold Christmas trees the year before to earn the money to go with the group. I got my first passport and also my first heavy jacket ( I grew up in a tropical climate). I was a seriously shy kid with everyone except for my handful of close friends, so this was a big deal. The first thing we did upon landing in London was board a giant bus and head to a castle to check out some of the crown jewels. Wow! Castles are real! My eyes were wide absorbing everything I could. The sites, the sounds, the accents, the smells, the customs. My heart expanded and I had caught the travel bug. For years prior to this I had fought getting on a plane and successfully had avoided it at all costs because of a fear of heights. The year before my London trip I flew on a plane with my Dad on a business trip, so I had crossed that bridge of fear and knew that traveling was more important than my fear of flying. After London, I knew I was in for a lifetime of travel. I would seriously get on a plane and go anywhere if someone handed me a ticket. But I had to push up against a boundary first. I had to move along the wall I had built for myself, touch it, feel it, learn what it was all about...and then decide I didn't like it there anymore. The pain of it being there was too great in comparison with the potential joys of moving beyond its perimeter. That is why adventures are important. The small everyday adventures, and the big expansive ones. Both play a part in our growth. Both are necessary. They show you where your edges are and why they are there. They show you how different things are around the world or around the corner from your house. They show you how similar things are too. Some of those basic human needs and desires...shelter, food, clothing, love, family, art, joy...they may look different where ever you go, but they are present. My tiny day-to-day adventures and my big plan adventures help me to open up my scope of understanding and, I believe, make me a better artist and hopefully change me in positive ways as a woman as well. I encourage you in your daily life to seek out little adventures. Look for a new perspective in an everyday situation. Taste, smell, see, observe, and think anew. Explore your boundaries and ask yourself more about why they are there. Plan a purposeful adventure. Go visit somewhere in your hometown that you have never visited before. Pretend you are a tourist right where you are. Taste something new and listen to something different. Take the experience and turn it over in your hands, heart, and mind. Be curious! Curiosity about life...that's the good stuff art is made of and creativity is cultivated by.... Adventures have changed me. Travel has changed me. Art has changed me. ...and given me so much joy. That is why I knew that Art Nurture had to have some adventures built in each year! If you want to hear more about Art Nurture's first official Andalusian Adventure to the Southern region of Spain this July, head here and read more. Get on the list to learn more! I'm pulling together a very special and small group of women to head there together for an adventure filled with sites, art, visual journalling, creativity cultivating, delicious food, and yes...flamenco dancing. I'll be adding more to this Art Nurture Manifesto as this process progresses. This is a conversation, feel free to leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts, or something you would like to see happen here...I'm all ears. Make sure to jump on the Art Nurture e-mail list to receive up to date Art Nurture goodness directly to your inbox. Art Nurture is about being fully alive and living life with the soul of an artist. A life filled with passion, intention, and purpose. Thanks so much for your time and your presence. Tell me about your adventures, big and small, in the comments below!!! Cultivate & Nurture, Court McCracken Art Nurture Manifesto |
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