Here is a little follow up report on the run I told you about last week. It happened. That is the thing about life. Whether we are prepared or not... Whether we are nervous are not... Whether we could have used a couple more hours of sleep or a few more sips of coffee... ...or another few weeks to feel more ready.... ....it happens. It keeps going. And on Sunday, the 6th Annual running of the Georgia Marathon and Half Marathon happened, and took a few of us along for the ride. For my friend, Amanda and her training partner, Nolan, it was their first half marathon race. They crossed the finish line and they felt great! I almost started crying when I saw them come around the bend on that last quarter mile, but I couldn't, because I too had run the race and it was quite a warm one, leaving only salt in my tear ducts. So I cheered instead and took some pictures. So that is the thing. Stuff happens. Life happens. Art happens. Accomplishment happens. Disappointment happens. We go to work. We take time to play. We rest. We study. We learn and grow and change. We fight with others and with ourselves. We laugh and then we learn to laugh again. The thing with the race is, that the date doesn't change. You have your time of preparation and what you do with it is up to you. But when it starts, it starts. And what it looks like and feels like to you, is up to you. And then when it's over it's over. You learn some new things and you take them into the next thing. Amanda will be starting culinary school in one month. She is my friend who I mentioned in the last Art Nurture Webinar: How to Begin Cultivating a Relationship with Your Creativity. I talked about her love of cooking and her journey of nurturing that part of herself, and now she is going to culinary school next month! She was sharing with me on the train on the way home from the race, how running has taught her quite a lot, many things that she will be taking into her culinary studies. Perseverance, steady preparation, belief in the goal, etc. You may think I'm trying to turn you into a running artist, but no, that is not my goal. I want neither of us to be held back by fear. Not you, not me, not my friends near and far. I don't want the fear of the unknown or the challenging to hold us back from anything. Even if your Big Hairy Audacious Goal is to play music publicly one day, then you've got to take those first steps and get an instrument. Maybe you've got an instrument and it is collecting dust. Maybe you need some lessons or some mentorship. Maybe you need to write down "practice" on you calendar for 30 minutes a day instead of something else. Usually, when we look at our time, we realize we are wasting some of it somewhere, if we are really honest with ourselves. I'm the guiltiest of that problem, so I can bring it up! Maybe waking up at the crack of dawn to go running isn't your thing, no big deal. Maybe it becomes your thing, then cool. Whatever you have an inkling to do, pursue it, start, begin. Life is happening all around us and we have something special to learn from it and to offer back to others. Find it and do it and don't stop. If you would like to attend the next Art Nurture Webinar: Resistance & Roadblocks to Nurturing Your Creativity, please do, its free! Next Monday, March 26th, 7:30-8:30 online and on your phone! Hope you are able to join the discussion!
Wishing you a day filled with forward momentum and inklings of goals and childhood beliefs that they are possible...
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This is the week, the week I make my annual trek down to Atlanta, GA to make another trek known as The Georgia Marathon & Half Marathon! Last year, you may remember, was my first full marathon. I was quite involved in my training, being a newbie, and it took everything I had to accomplish that distance and cross that life-long dream "To-Do" off my list. It wouldn't have been possible without a seriously awesome team of supportive friends. You may remember them from my Bagel Transfer Video. If not, here it is again. One of those friends, shortly after the marathon, asked me if it was too early to ask me to commit to running the half with her this year for her first half marathon race experience. You may notice her running next to me down the road and cheering in the above video! Anyhow, I told her it would be my honor. She has been training all year long and I can't wait to see her and her training partner cross the finish line this Sunday morning! After all, she helped me get home after the marathon last year, it is the least I can do. I'm thankful for my new pair of VERY purple running shoes and the continuous lessons and realizations that this activity of running has given me over the last 4 years since my first 5K. This week I will be resting up, stretching out, carbohydrate loading and looking forward to the delicious food that will be consumed afterwards!
So, ready or not... this Sunday morning, down in Atlanta, I will be running 13.1 miles with my good friend Amanda & her training partner, Nolan... here we come! Well, if any one of you out there is at all like me, the holidays can feel like a train. Moving strong and fast with the start of Thanksgiving all the way into the New Year and leaving you with the feeling of "What just happened? I was so busy for two months and now it's all over?"
I have struggled with this 'swept away' feeling most of my life. Sometimes I just need to stop going and going for a moment, to realize that I've nearly run myself ragged and into the ground with busy-ness and spinning of wheels, only to leave myself tired and unfocused on the fact that a New Year is coming! So I am trying to slow down and cease my wheel spinning, so that I can move forward and spend my time in a way that reflects my values. This train called life don't stop for nobody, unless you are the conductor. How can I jump into the conductor's seat? First, I will take some time to take a step back. A good friend of mine and I were chatting today about the crucial nature of the "step back" in making life's most positive moves forward. Without that time and attention to reflection, you will continue to struggle like I have with that same old swept away feeling. Living intentionally feels so much better than treading water. The tough part is, it takes personal responsibility. This is something you are deeply aware of if you are an artist. Nobody is begging you to achieve. There are millions of people out there who want to make it as an artist and if days go by and dust collects on your canvases and paint tubes and brushes, nobody is going to be there to take responsibility for that except you, when you get to work. Same is true for anyone else and any other goal. When I was training for the marathon, I trained about 95% of the time by myself. This is why, in many of the marathon training books I read, they recommend to you that you tell every single person you can about what it is that you are doing. That way you are at least held accountable to the fact that people keep asking you about your craziness when you are training. "How's that running going? Did you win the race?" (subtext, you might be a little crazy) Same is true of anything else. Work on it with yourself and be brave and open up and share with others what it is you are working towards. Again, I say, this train called life wont stop. So, take a moment to reflect, so that time doesn't pass you by. I have to remind myself of this time and again. There is no time like the present. No obstacle not worth fighting through, to seek your passion. To live your dream. To nurture yourself and thus others and thus the world. It always amazes me to hear the stories of people who have radically changed the world for the better, only to hear that it started with something so tiny. Such a tiny thing they noticed or began to do differently, that then grew slowly over time. A short poem: For 2012, I have a few big things that I want to work towards, but I will need to do it just a tiny bit at a time. A little each day. Rolling along. Not being swept away. Happy New Years to all of you out there! May you find and nurture your art! -Court Some people use the phrase, "You've crossed the line" to comment on someone that has gone too far. They have crossed over into a certain level of unacceptable behavior socially or personally. If you are going to cross a line to finish a marathon, trust me, you know you have gone too far. You have trained for months and months to make sure you can push yourself to go "too far". Nothing feels better than being able to cross that line, especially when you were not sure you could get there. Some lines need to be crossed; those personal challenges that we need to bust through. For everyone, it may not be a marathon, but for me it was. I needed so desperately to cross that line. It was not graceful or pretty. I am by no stretch of the imagination an elite athlete, this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I will be honest to say, that my muscles (had they each individual voices) would be crying out in a loud chorus one song and one song only... entitled, "OUCH!" It is two days, post-race, and I am starting to heal up and gain some perspective. It would be an understatement to say that immediately after the race I was a little bit "out of it". Some people asked me that day if I would ever consider running the 26.2 race again. I believe at the time I asked to defer the question to a later date. I will answer it now to say, crazily, yes, I totally would do it again. The changes that happen within are the reason to do a marathon. A lot of my life I have struggled with fear. Fear in my art, my relationships, my abilities. Being brave doesn't have to do with never experiencing fear, but it has to do with facing the fear and calling it out for what it is, rubbish, then doing your awesome work anyways. Art and fear is a real thing. Most creative people struggle with that vulnerable feeling of what will happen if they work super hard on something and put it out there and people reject their work. Well, that might happen. But to cross the line, you have to keep going. I have mentioned many times how surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you as you nurture your art and thus yourself is integral to this process. More than anything I learned from this race about myself personally or pushing myself, I learned that my support system is vital to my survival. My friends and family are the team. They held me up, they encouraged me and they literally sustained me through this experience. To all of you, I thank you from every fiber of myself. Here are some photos and a short video that show the crucial support I received on that day. Thank you, thank you, thank you, to each and every person who gave encouraging words, prayers, bagels, good vibes, love, shirts, water, gatorade... runners near me who encouraged me to finish strong, thank you, thank you, thank you. You all amaze me with your love, strength, beauty, graciousness. This kind of kinship is what makes being a human and being alive so desperately beautiful. Carry it with you when you "cross the line".
If you are from Atlanta, you are either for or against the nickname "Hotlanta" for your fair city. I have noticed a great deal of division on whether the nickname is funny and cute or completely annoying. But, I will say, that it did not come about without just cause. This city is in the 80's! I just drove in from the beautiful mountains of Western North Carolina where; with the recent celebration of my favorite holiday, Daylight Savings, the sun is high in the crisp, clear, spring sky a little bit later in the day. This allows those of us night owls who like to play outside enjoy the day just a little bit longer. Here in Atlanta, however, the ushering in of Spring has brought the temperature much higher than I am used to for this Marathon race weekend. So, to nurture myself, I'm trying to stay calm, eat good food and drink A LOT of water. Here are some photos of how the city of Atlanta is preparing for the big day tomorrow. The weather forecast says it will be about 70 degrees tomorrow for the high instead of 80, hope that is true for all of us runners out there, as well as our friends and families coming to cheer! Off to do some light yoga and drink some more water... Thanks to everyone who has offered encouragement! Ain't nothin' left to do but to get it done!
P.S. I am also slightly nervous ; ) I'm learning a lot these days. Sometimes, it is even overwhelming to realize how much I don't know that there is learn, but I'm trying to trust the process. I'm also learning that what you need is often a tool you have sitting around on some shelf you haven't looked at in a while. For an artist with the constant battle of a messy studio, this is both literal as well as figurative.
Today I went on my last hour long run before my marathon one week from today. For the rest of the week I will run very little and rest a lot leading up to the big day. For me it is not so much a "race", since I am in no way going to really be a part of the competition. It is really more about the "run" and how I handle what happens along the way. Yes, there is a reason running has so many life metaphors, and especially the lessons learned from training for a marathon. Endurance, fortitude, perseverance, concentration, pushing through the pain, etc. All of these are valid and true and real lessons learned from the marathon training schedule. I am anticipating learning some more on the big day as well, as there will be many thousands of people all around me who have been training for and anticipating this big day. There is also something a little more that starts to happen; all of which I am not positive I can articulate at this moment, but the thoughts are forming with each step I take. Today, as I ran around one of my favorite most familiar trails, I was practicing my visualization techniques. In his book on Marathon training, Jeff Galloway talks about encouragement and visualization and positive words to help you keep going. Some of the images he suggests using are that of you crossing the finish line. Today, I was trying to decide what the most meaningful images were to me and those that would assist me most on that day. I decided that it was the image of every single person (friend, family, co-worker) that has uttered an encouraging word to me throughout this process. I imagined all these people standing along the side of the road every step I took (some of you will actually be there that day to greet me at the half-way point and at the finish line, thank you in advance!) cheering and smiling and telling me to keep going. I thought on this image more and more as I was running. Suddenly, a man near me in a Bele Chere 5K t-shirt smiled at me and waved and said, "Keep going! You got this!" I was surprised by and thankful for his encouragement and waved back smiling and said, "Thanks!" I realized then, that the preparation is over. There is only sleeping and eating and general care-taking to do till then, but the run work is done. The only thing left to do is show up and trust that I already have everything I need. Thanks for being a part of that everything. I've been hearing a lot lately about this word: Synchronicity. I first began hearing about it in Julia Cameron's book, "The Artist's Way" and then of course further it has been discussed in The Artist's Way class I am taking. Each week we check in with each other and discuss our moments of synchronicity, what we learned in the past week and some of our small or big creative successes. I have also begun to hear some of my friends mention this same topic of "synchronicity" and all at once I started to think that I may or may not truly understand the concept at all!
So, I looked it up. It appears that the term was coined by Carl Jung and can be defined as: "... an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated..." I guess sometimes synchronicity can be eye-opening, opportunity giving or simply encouraging. Such as needing something in a moment and it comes your way in an unexpected manner. An interesting concept to explore. Perhaps, just taking note of such things as your needs and your desires for opportunities and keeping your eyes open, becoming aware to what is really going on, causes synchronicity itself to occur. If we are not aware, we cannot experience these moments. Anyhow, I was on my way back from a short "maintenance run" today and checked the mailbox on the way home. In it I received a card from an address I did not know and I open it up to find a beautiful note from a friend I have not spoken to or seen in years! It turns out she has been training for marathons and pursuing her own creative endeavors and had heard recently from her sister that I had been doing the same! Super encouraging moment of synchronicity. Definitely feeling like (at least sometimes) the road may actually rise to meet you. There is a reason that Nike's slogan, "Just Do It" has stood the test of time. Probably a lot of it has to do with good marketing, but, from my recent experience, it is also very true.
I have been working and working for months and months now, thinking about and training for this marathon. I have said 'no' to cookies and brownies and red wine and french fries. I have prepared myself, thinking about it every day for the last 6 months. But, even with all of this dedication to the task at hand, I have still wondered if I could really pull this off, if I could really finish. I guess the unknown is a little scary. Also, when you tell people you are going to do a marathon a lot of people tend to tell you horror stories they have heard about the mysterious marathon and it's treacherous distance and how their mom's friend did a marathon and horrible things happened to her. There is risk in everything and you do not know how the body will react, but you can prepare as best as possible. I have been preparing for a while now and yesterday was the day on my training schedule where I was supposed to run "an easy 26 miler" according to Jeff Galloway, author of "Marathon, You Can Do It!". I knew I had to do it and all week long prior to the run, the task was looming before me. The more I thought about it, the more it caused me a bit of worry and fear. Mostly, I was worried I wouldn't be able to really do it and I wondered if that would that be any different in three weeks on the day of the race. The moment came... and I went... down the road and all over Asheville. The crazy thing was, I actually did it! I pulled it off and today (after a massage and a bath of epsom salts) I actually feel good! I am a bit tired and pretty hungry pretty often, but other than that I'm good. I also have a peace of mind. I feel like I can walk up to the start line with the knowledge learned through training that I can finish that distance. So, when you are thinking about not doing it and you hear the words "Just Do it" think about the fact that afterwards you can say, "I just did that!" |
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